Mitt clobbers Obama - in Taiwanese animation...

Not everyone will love this, but I laughed out loud...

Presidential flashback...

The other thing that President Dunning-Kruger reminds us of with his latest round of self-back-patting...

From The Office...

David: So, let me ask you a question right off the bat. What do you think are your greatest strengths as a manager?

Michael: Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? I work too hard. I care too much. And sometimes I can be too invested in my job.

David: Okay. And your strengths?

Michael: Well, my weaknesses are actually... strengths.

David: Oh. Yes. Very good.

"If you don’t want to talk about dogs, why did you bring up dogs?"

Jim Treacher:

A day will come when I stop enjoying this. Today is not that day.
...
I haven’t had this much fun ridiculing a dog-eating president since the last dog-eating president, who was… Hmm. Let me get back to you on that one. I guess everything Obama does is historic!

As for our moral, ethical, and intellectual superiors in the Democratic Party who don’t appreciate this one bit, here’s a question:

If you don’t want to talk about dogs, why did you bring up dogs?

Now: Add up the number of days you’ve yammered about Romney’s dog. Take that sum and add 1. Find a calendar, count out that number of days from today, and mark the date. That’s the day I’ll consider not hurting your feelings anymore by bringing up the fact that Obama eats dogs.

Or November 7, 2012. Whichever comes first.

If the idea of mocking the President for having eaten dog meat when he was younger and bragging about it in his (alleged auto)-biography bothers you, by all means do not click the link and enjoy the humor...

Google Rules the first of April...

Google went WAY beyond the call of duty is this absolutely perfect classic April 1st video...

How the 1 percent ‘harm’ us

Frank J. Fleming has correctly identified the mindset of the "Occupy America" crowd...

Here’s the thing: They’re the 1 percent, but we’re the 99 percent. Their wealth may be much more than ours, but 99 is a much bigger number than one. So we should just gang up and take their money.

When one person takes the property of another, that’s tyranny, but when lots of people get together and do it, that’s democracy. So we should legislate that the 1 percent no longer get to keep that vast wealth and must instead distribute it among the rest of us. (I should get the largest portion because it was my idea.)

After we’ve taken care of their wealth, to keep the nation happy and prosperous we should pass a law making it illegal for there to be a wealthiest 1 percent -- this country should just be the normal 99 percent.

Sure, that isn’t mathematically possible, but government shouldn’t be about what’s possible; it should be about what’s fair.

Click the link. Read it all. Brilliant...

"Headwinds"

Michael Ramirez:

Financial Planning

An excellent piece from Tom Naughton, Financial Planning, that might be even funnier if the situation weren't so dire...

“Let me get out a worksheet here … I like to start by looking at your income first, okay?”

“No problem.”

“Great. How much would you say you take in during an average month?”

“About 20,000 dollars.”

“Excellent! I’m sure we find you some very attractive investment opportunities at that income level. And what would you say your average monthly expenses add up to?”

“About 36,000 dollars.”

“Great, so … I’m sorry, could you say that again?”

“About 36,000 dollars.”

“You’re running 16,000 short every month?”

“That’s right. I wouldn’t be here if I knew what I was doing.”

“So you’re eating up all your savings, right?”

“Savings? No, I don’t have any savings.”

...

"Okay, then, here’s what’s going to happen. You’re going to keep piling up debts, and the interest on those debts is going to keep piling up too. Mr. Kwang will keep lending you money as long as you pay the interest, but eventually you’ll owe in more in interest every month than you can possibly take in. Then you won’t be able to pay the interest, and Mr. Kwang will call in your debts. Then you’ll owe him everything you have. Understand? Everything. And then, Mr. Sam, you won’t be able to help anybody. Your nieces and nephews will be completely cut off, and everything they earn will go to Mr. Kwang. And all they’ll get out of the deal is the fond memory of how generous you used to be. Am I being clear here?”

“Wow. So the whole thing will come crashing down, huh?”

“You bet it will. You keep spending like this, it’s a foregone conclusion. It’s only a matter of when.”

“And when do think the when will be? How long, exactly?”

“Fifteen years if you’re lucky.”

“Really? Fifteen years?”

“That’s right.”

“Okay, great! Let me come back in another ten years or so and we’ll figure out what to do about this.”

Read it all...

It’s Time to Call Barbara Boxer Ma’am Again - By Kathryn Jean Lopez - The Corner - National Review Online

From the mind of David Zucker - It’s Time to Call Barbara Boxer Ma’am Again

Call Me Madam Joe from RightChange on Vimeo.

Brilliant!

The Selfless Wonk - disconnected from reality

He's taken more victory laps (and vacations) than necessary, from my point-of-view...

The Selfless Wonk

President Obama laments:


“I think that one of the challenges we had two years ago is that we had to move so fast. We were in such emergency mode that it was very difficult for us to spend a lot of time doing victory laps and advertising what we were doing because we were moving on to the next thing. I take some responsibility for that.

Hey, at least he's taking some responsibility for something.

Honestly, he sounds like Michael Scott on The Office, interviewing with David Wallace for the job in New York.

DW:  What are your greatest strengths as a manager?
MS:  Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are?  I work too hard, I care too much, and sometimes I can be too invested in my job.
DW:  OK...And your strengths?
MS:   Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths...

This photoshop (and I don't know who did it, else I'd attribute it) is over a year old, but as appropriate as ever...

So you want to go to law school...

I'm not a lawyer. I've never been to law school. But I get the feeling that there's a whole lot of truth in this (very funny) video...

Republicans Kind of ...

Mild language warning (but it's only the language that you see here in the link - good enough for broadcast television nowadays, but I don't care for it.) The article, however, is excellent...

Republicans Kind of Suck

So, we’re all agreed that a barking dog and a zombie apocalypse both suck. Everyone following so far?

Now let’s look at what led us to the political situation we’re in. During the second term of the Bush presidency people just got fed up with Republicans. They were idiots, they were no good at the whole fiscal conservatism thing (which is sort of the whole point of them), we had these wars that seemed to be going nowhere, and the economy was beginning to fail. They sucked, and people were sick and tired of them.

Thus people turned to the Democrats. And Obama.

...

So the Democrats sucked. But not just plain old, usual politician sucked, but epic levels of suck where it’s hard to find an analog in human history that conveys the same level of suckitude. It was sheer incompetence plus arrogance — and those things do not complement each other well. We’re talking sucking that distorts time and space like a black hole.

It’s Godzilla-smashing-through-a-city level of suck — but a really patronizing Godzilla who says you’re just too stupid and hateful to see all the buildings he’s saved or created as he smashes everything apart. Or, to use Obama’s favorite analogy, you have a car stuck in ditch, so you call the mechanic, but the only tool he brings with him is a sledgehammer. And then he smashes your car to pieces and charges you $100,000 for his service. Finally, he calls you racist for complaining. Obama and the Democrats have been so awful, it’s hard for the human brain to even comprehend.

Go ahead, read it all. It's amusing, despite being so true.

Just got the call from Theo Epstein...

The Red Sox are down to me on the depth chart. Unfortunately, I'm already on the DL, so they had to look elsewhere...

ThinkGeek's best cease-and-desist - ever!

While this is very funny, it's a little sad and scary, too. How much did those lawyers get paid for producing a document as nonsensical as this cease-and-desist? Did one of them, at any point, stop to actually consider what he was doing?

And who, at the National Pork Board, sicced the lawyers on the case in the first place?

Recently we got the best-ever cease and desist letter. We're no stranger to the genre, so what could possibly make this one stand out from the rest?

First, it's 12 pages long and very well-researched (except on one point); it even includes screengrabs of the offending item from our site. And we know they're not messing around because they invested in the best and brightest legal minds.

But what makes this cease and desist so very, very special is that it's for a fake product we launched for April Fool's day.

It wasn't the iCade, or the Dharma Initiative Clock, or even the Tribbles 'n' Bits Breakfast Cereal.

No, it was the Canned Unicorn Meat.

Click and read.

The inspirational genius and originality of James Cameron on display

The funniest thing I've seen today - How Disney's Pocahontas Became Avatar:

Presidential Greeting

Michael Ramirez:


In the words of Homer Simpson, "it's funny 'cause it's true..."

The the impotence of proofreading

A fabulous follow-up to the earlier poem...



(Thanks, Nancy!)

Owed Two A Spell Chequer

(not mine - stumbled across and enjoyed and then shared...)

Owed Two A Spell Chequer

Eye halve a spelling chequer,
it came with my pea sea.
It plainly marques, four my revue,
miss steaks eye kin knot sea.

Eye strike a key and type a word
and weight four it two say,
Weather eye am wrong oar write
it shows me strait a weigh.

As soon as a mist ache is maid,
it nose bee fore two long.
And eye can put the error rite
it's rare lea ever wrong.

Eye have run this poem threw it,
I am shore your pleased two no.
Its letter perfect awl the weigh,
my chequer tolled me sew

The Bush Presidency - stunning success?

Here's one major reason why even progressives should be able to agree that the administration of George W. Bush represented a golden moment in American history:

• In 2000, with Bill Clinton still holding the Presidency of the United States, the New York Yankees won the World Series.


• In 2009, with Barack Obama in office, the New York Yankees won the World Series.


• In the eight years in between, the Presidency of George W. Bush, the New York Yankees won zero (0) World Series.

Case closed.

Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

"This is a different President. He just didn't think that a combative approach...would be the best way to solve this crisis..."¹


Obama To Enter Diplomatic Talks With Raging Wildfire

When the Onion gets it right, well, it gets it right...






¹ - (Because he saves the combative approach for fellow Americans, American allies and other capitalist pigs...)

Other Nobel Prizes

From Henry Payne of the Detroit News: