To whom it may concern...

So apparently the seventeen year-old moron (is that a redundancy?) who was tasered on the field in Philadelphia the other night called his father to ask permission first:

Steve Consalvi, a 17-year old high school senior, called his father from the Philadelphia Phillies game on Monday and asked for permission to run on the field.

“He said, ‘Dad, can I run on the field? ‘I don’t think you should, son,’ ” his father Wayne, 45, told the Philadelphia Daily News.

What I'd have told mine in that situation is something like, "If you want to spend the night in jail and pay the fine, that's your decision. But don't use your phone call from jail to call me, because I'm not going to bail you out if you do something that STUPID. I'll testify for the prosecution that it was pre-meditated and that you obviously knew it was wrong, because if I haven't managed to teach you not to do something that STUPID, you're obviously going to need more education from the legal system than I can give you."